Reformat
I have already experienced a lot of challenges in my life, and I’ve been hurt so many times. I’m struggling to find answers to my questions that Google couldn’t answer.
“I sit here alone and forgotten. You’re love was all I had. Now that it’s gone…
I have nothing to live for…”
No matter how hard I try to get over him, there’s still that sort of feeling… remembering the ways things used to be, and how they are now. And hope that the new person in his life was still me, and everything was how it used be, erasing all the bad things that happened.
Although we have been apart for a while, and now he already has a different love in his life, I still can’t help but wonder how his life is, if his heart still beats a little faster as mine does when he remembers me. That is, if he stills remembers me…
7 years ago, he was just a boy I had a crush on. We have a history… a friendship, we listened to each other and laughed together. Then we fell in love. I didn’t have to pretend with him. He loved me for what I am.
My feelings have never been more clear, and I know they will never go away just like that. My friends and even his new girlfriend kept telling me, “Move on! Just accept the fact that he’s not yours anymore!” Some people just can’t understand how I’m suffering right now. I’ve done stupid things recently just to let all the hurt out. I have been a psychotic bitch and ranted about a whole bunch of things on Facebook. As a result, he and his new girlfriend started to hate me.
I wanted to forget about him. I even tried to kill myself just so the pain in my heart would go away, but I couldn’t because of my daughter.
It really takes a lot of time to move on, especially with someone like him, who is the father of my daughter, and the love of my life. Until now, I wish I couldv’e undone all the wrong things I’ve done, even before all this happened. I’m not even sure if I could move on at all.
I can’t keep on fighting for him if he doesn’t want me back. I have to let him go. I have to be strong no matter how much it hurts. And I know that this experience will make me a stronger woman.
Here’s me, deleting all the bad memories in my head, shutting down and reformatting my life…
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EDITED: I’ll be working again soon. I guess it’s a good start for my new life. Looking at the bright side, being single isn’t so bad at all. I can do whatever I want while I’m still young and free. After all, I’m not yet ready for commitments, and especially not for married life.
Pregnancy is not a justification for marriage. Marriage can wait. There are still a whole bunch of things ahead of me. I won’t plan ahead for someone’s life anymore except for mine and my kid’s.
I’ll just live my life and be happy. =)
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