Posted by Nagashiko on Feb 7, 2010 in
Boyfriend,
Cuteness,
Decisions,
Depression,
Emo,
Event,
Flashback,
Hatred,
I dunno,
Rants Last year, I spent most of my days weeping about my mediocre love life. If you’re interested in reading about my previous relationship/s, here’s a recap of the tragic love life I had last year…
Anna Lee
I Am Officially Single Again
Reformat
What doesn’t Kill You
Remembering Him… Again!
Single As Charged
My New Boyfriend
Boyfriend Stuff
The new dude I’m dating is 9 years older than me. Some people say that we have a huge difference in maturity level but I completely disagree. My boyfriend doesn’t look anything like his age at all. He just looks like he’s still 20-something years old even if he’s already uhm… older than that. Hehe.
One of the things that I loved about him is his bad boy aura. I’m not saying that he’s not a gentleman, it’s just that, the way he looks is like he’s always ready to put up a fight. He also has a tattoo on his left arm, which makes him look really maangas or astig, but I find it really sexy. He’s really a good guy when it comes to girlfriend stuff, and he’s the first guy of his kind who’s super caring and loving, despite the bad boy look.
We’ve been together since December 23, 2009, and this is the most exciting relationship I’ve ever had, because even if were still just a few weeks together, it feels like it’s been forever. I love it when he makes me keep on guessing what could happen next between us. He always surprises me.
Valentine’s Day is coming 7 days from now, and I can’t wait to see what he has in store for me. And you know what? I’ll just park my thoughts on Valentine’s for now and just update you guys the next time I log in, okay?
—–
By the way, I’m really sleepy while I’m typing this post so you’ll notice a lot of grammar errors here. I’ll probably just update this later so this post would make sense to you. Ciao.
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Tags: astig, bad boy, Boyfriend, Dada, Dance with the Devil, maangas, Nagashiko, new boyfriend, new guy in my life, Rhoda Fajardo, tattoo, The Bad Boy I Love
Posted by Nagashiko on Aug 1, 2009 in
Decisions,
Depression,
Emo,
Hatred,
I dunno,
Rants …will only make you stronger— A quote I have decided to live by. Hearing this over and over again reminds me how strong a woman I am.
I was used to having someone to call my better half all the time, until he graduated earlier than me, got a job, and fell in love with his officemate.
Last month was Hell! And until now, I can’t get over the inevitable breakup. The moment I broke up with him, I thought I’d get over him easily.
As the days went by, I started to feel the pain getting worse each day, like a bomb you find in this tiny room that’s ticking away in your heart. The sound getting louder with every passing second. You know what’s coming but you freeze at the moment. And then suddenly, it explodes, and your heart breaks into a million pieces, shooting in all directions.
I thought I was dead, but the truth is, I live to feel the excruciating pain.
But my body, my mind and my heart is learning to adjust, adapt and accept reality as it is. I realized that the world doesn’t stop spinning just because I experienced the most devastating blow of my life so far.
Here’s a quote from a blogger friend, Tricia…
“Life’s a bitch. But you are bitchier than anything else. You can get through it all. There’s always a light at the end of every tunnel. Just be tough.”
And I send this message to other girls like me. =D
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Tags: Boyfriend, breaking up, buhay, changes, Dance with the Devil, hurt, letting go, love, moving on, Nagashiko, pain, reformat, Rhoda Fajardo, sadness, self-realization, shut down, suicide, Wilfred Santos
I have already experienced a lot of challenges in my life, and I’ve been hurt so many times. I’m struggling to find answers to my questions that Google couldn’t answer.
“I sit here alone and forgotten. You’re love was all I had. Now that it’s gone…
I have nothing to live for…”
No matter how hard I try to get over him, there’s still that sort of feeling… remembering the ways things used to be, and how they are now. And hope that the new person in his life was still me, and everything was how it used be, erasing all the bad things that happened.
Although we have been apart for a while, and now he already has a different love in his life, I still can’t help but wonder how his life is, if his heart still beats a little faster as mine does when he remembers me. That is, if he stills remembers me…
7 years ago, he was just a boy I had a crush on. We have a history… a friendship, we listened to each other and laughed together. Then we fell in love. I didn’t have to pretend with him. He loved me for what I am.
My feelings have never been more clear, and I know they will never go away just like that. My friends and even his new girlfriend kept telling me, “Move on! Just accept the fact that he’s not yours anymore!” Some people just can’t understand how I’m suffering right now. I’ve done stupid things recently just to let all the hurt out. I have been a psychotic bitch and ranted about a whole bunch of things on Facebook. As a result, he and his new girlfriend started to hate me.
I wanted to forget about him. I even tried to kill myself just so the pain in my heart would go away, but I couldn’t because of my daughter.
It really takes a lot of time to move on, especially with someone like him, who is the father of my daughter, and the love of my life. Until now, I wish I couldv’e undone all the wrong things I’ve done, even before all this happened. I’m not even sure if I could move on at all.
I can’t keep on fighting for him if he doesn’t want me back. I have to let him go. I have to be strong no matter how much it hurts. And I know that this experience will make me a stronger woman.
Here’s me, deleting all the bad memories in my head, shutting down and reformatting my life…
—–
EDITED: I’ll be working again soon. I guess it’s a good start for my new life. Looking at the bright side, being single isn’t so bad at all. I can do whatever I want while I’m still young and free. After all, I’m not yet ready for commitments, and especially not for married life.
Pregnancy is not a justification for marriage. Marriage can wait. There are still a whole bunch of things ahead of me. I won’t plan ahead for someone’s life anymore except for mine and my kid’s.
I’ll just live my life and be happy. =)
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Tags: Boyfriend, breaking up, buhay, changes, Dance with the Devil, hurt, letting go, love, moving on, Nagashiko, pain, reformat, Rhoda Fajardo, sadness, self-realization, shut down, suicide, Wilfred Santos
