19

Moving On…

Posted by Nagashiko on Sep 22, 2009 in Architecture, Boyfriend, Computers, Rants, Reviews

EDIT: I’m using the default Wordpress Comment Form now. YAY! I guess the reason why my WP comment form got f*cked up before is because I edited some of the CSS but didn’t know what to do.

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Anyway I failed to blog hop last week because my dad prohibited me and my siblings from using the internet and I don’t know until when. But because I’m smart enough, I found out where my dad hides the modem that’s why I’m able to update my blog. Hahahaha!

I wasn’t able to meet the 100 comments I hoped for and I don’t want to wait anymore. I also don’t think I’d achieve 100 comments without blog hopping on a regular basis so I have decided to update my blog anyway. And I will really try my best to achieve 100 comments on one post for the first time without skipping my weekly sched of updating.

While I wasn’t online, I’ve been spending eons on The Sims 3. My boyfriend installed it on my laptop after he fixed it. It’s very addicting, especially for someone like me who loves to design stuffies. Since I’m currently not enrolled, I thought to myself, maybe I could practice my field of study, that is Architecture by playing The Sims 3. LOL! I’ll update this post again with the screenshots of my sims.

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How many comments do you get per blog post on average?

Do you play The Sims?






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0

What doesn’t Kill You

Posted by Nagashiko on Aug 1, 2009 in Decisions, Depression, Emo, Hatred, I dunno, Rants

…will only make you stronger— A quote I have decided to live by. Hearing this over and over again reminds me how strong a woman I am.

I was used to having someone to call my better half all the time, until he graduated earlier than me, got a job, and fell in love with his officemate.

Last month was Hell! And until now, I can’t get over the inevitable breakup. The moment I broke up with him, I thought I’d get over him easily.

As the days went by, I started to feel the pain getting worse each day, like a bomb you find in this tiny room that’s ticking away in your heart. The sound  getting louder with every passing second. You know what’s coming but you freeze at the moment. And then suddenly, it explodes, and your heart breaks into a million pieces, shooting in all directions.

I thought I was dead, but the truth is, I live to feel the excruciating pain.

But my body, my mind and my heart is learning to adjust, adapt and accept reality as it is. I realized that the world doesn’t stop spinning just because I experienced the most devastating blow of my life so far.

Here’s a quote from a blogger friend,  Tricia

“Life’s a bitch. But you are bitchier than anything else. You can get through it all. There’s always a light at the end of every tunnel. Just be tough.”

And I send this message to other girls like me. =D





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0

Reformat

Posted by Nagashiko on Jul 22, 2009 in Decisions, Depression, Emo, Flashback, Hatred, I dunno, Motherhood, Rants

I have already experienced a lot of challenges in my life, and I’ve been hurt so many times. I’m struggling to find answers to my questions that Google couldn’t answer.

“I sit here alone and forgotten. You’re love was all I had. Now that it’s gone…

I have nothing to live for…”

No matter how hard I try to get over him, there’s still that sort of feeling… remembering the ways things used to be, and how they are now. And hope that the new person in his life was still me, and everything was how it used be, erasing all the bad things that happened.

Although we have been apart for a while, and now he already has a different love in his life, I still can’t help but wonder how his life is, if his heart still beats a little faster as mine does when he remembers me. That is, if he stills remembers me…

7 years ago, he was just a boy I had a crush on. We have a history… a friendship, we listened to each other and laughed together. Then we fell in love.  I didn’t have to pretend with him. He loved me for what I am.

My feelings have never been more clear, and I know they will never go away just like that. My friends and even his new girlfriend kept telling me, “Move on! Just accept the fact that he’s not yours anymore!” Some people just can’t understand how I’m suffering right now. I’ve done stupid things recently just to let all the hurt out. I have been a psychotic bitch and ranted about a whole bunch of things on Facebook.  As a result, he and his new girlfriend started to hate me.

I wanted to forget about him. I even tried to kill myself just so the pain in my heart would go away, but I couldn’t because of my daughter.

It really takes a lot of time to move on, especially with someone like him, who is the father of my daughter, and the love of my life. Until now, I wish I couldv’e undone all the wrong things I’ve done, even before all this happened. I’m not even sure if I could move on at all.

I can’t keep on fighting for him if he doesn’t want me back. I have to let him go. I have to be strong no matter how much it hurts. And I know that this experience will make me a stronger woman.

Here’s me, deleting all the bad memories in my head, shutting down and reformatting my life…

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EDITED: I’ll be working again soon. I guess it’s a good start for my new life. Looking at the bright side, being single isn’t so bad at all. I can do whatever I want while I’m still young and free. After all, I’m not yet ready for commitments, and especially not for married life.

Pregnancy is not a justification for marriage. Marriage can wait. There are still a whole bunch of things ahead of me. I won’t plan ahead for someone’s life anymore except for mine and my kid’s.

I’ll just live my life and be happy. =)





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